Wedding seating etiquette: who usually sits where

The top table

Traditionally the couple sit in the middle of a top table facing the room, with their parents, the best man and the chief bridesmaid or maid of honour alongside. The order along the table differs from one tradition to the next, and many couples simply choose their own.

Other common choices are a table for the whole wedding party, a sweetheart table for the couple alone, or the couple at an ordinary round table among their guests. None is more correct than another.

Parents and close family

If parents are not at the top table, they are usually seated at the tables nearest to it, often as hosts of a table of their own relations and friends.

Where parents have separated or remarried, giving each a table of their own near the couple is a common and kind answer. It spares everyone a seat they did not want, and nobody is placed further away than the other.

Couples and friends

Guests who came together are nearly always seated together, and most people are happiest at a table where they know at least one other person. A guest coming alone is usually placed with friends, or with people of a similar age and interests.

Whether to mix the two families or keep each side together is a matter of taste. Mixing helps people meet; keeping sides together lets relatives who rarely see each other catch up.

Children

Young children are usually seated with their parents. Older children are sometimes given a table of their own, which many of them enjoy, placed where their parents can see it. Ask the parents if you are unsure.

Older guests and anyone with needs

Older guests are often most comfortable away from the speakers and the band, with a clear view of the top table and an easy way to the doors and the toilets. A guest who uses a wheelchair or finds steps hard needs a step-free route to their table and space at it.

It also helps the venue to know where guests with allergies or a different meal are sitting.

Doing it in Seatbay

A couple or family added as a party always moves together. Rules cover the rest: keep together, keep apart, wants to be near, and must be at this table. A guest can be marked as needing step-free access, a place near the door or a high chair, and the list for the venue carries meals, allergens and needs table by table.

Lock the seats you are sure of, such as the top table, so later changes leave them alone.